Perfectionistic Type

1 Basic Strategy
2 Neurotic Needs
3 Idealized Image
4 Neurotic Pride
5 Neurotic Claims
6 Tyrannical Shoulds
7 Self-Hate
8 Noteworthy Examples
9 See also
10 References
11 Tags

Basic Strategy

In the Secunda secundae of the Summa Theologiae, Thomas Aquinas depicts pride as the original sin. Eileen Sweeney (pg. 163) summarizes Aquinas' characterization of the first sin: "Aquinas interprets the first sin as the coveting of God's likeness in regard to knowledge and operation (Ia IIae, q. 163, a. 2). Adam and Eve desired to decide for themselves what was good and evil and to foreknow the good and evil that would befall them. Further, they desired to achieve happiness by their own natural power. The sin is to have desired to set one's own standards and limits, to be in control—in other words, not to be confronted by the other in the prophetic model of sin."

The basic strategy, or search for glory, as Karen Horney calls it, of the Perfectionistic type, is the attempt to resolve anxiety through orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control.

Perfectionist standards provide two important elements (a) being superior to others and (b) controlling life (Cooper, pg. 117).

"[B]y his adherence to standards he gains a feeling of superiority. This satisfaction is similar to that gained by self-inflation, but with this difference: a narcissistic person may enjoy being so wonderful and enjoy the admiration he receives for it; in the righteous person vindictiveness toward others prevails. Even the guilt feelings which arise so easily are felt as a virtue because they prove to the individual his high sensitivity toward moral requirements. Thus if the analyst points out to a patient how exaggerated his self-recriminations are, the patient—consciously or unconsciously—will make the mental reservation that he is so much finer than the analyst that the latter, with his 'lower' measurements, cannot possibly understand him. This attitude entails a mostly unconscious sadistic satisfaction: to prick and crush others by one's very superiority. The sadistic impulses may be expressed merely in derogatory thoughts concerning the mistakes and shortcomings of others. But the impulse is to tell others how stupid, worthless and contemptible they are and to make them feel like dust; the impulse is to strike them with righteous indignation from the height of one's own infallibility. By being 'holier than thou' the individual acquires the right to look down on others and thereby to inflict the same injury upon others as his parents inflicted upon him" (Horney, 1939, pp. 220-21).

"Because he is fair, just, dutiful, he is entitled to fair treatment by others and by life in general. This conviction of an infallible justice operating in life gives him a feeling of mastery. His own perfection therefore is not only a means to superiority but also one to control life" (1950, pg. 197).

"Unlike narcissists, perfectionists work hard and pay obsessive attention to details. The details themselves are unimportant however; rather, what matters is 'the flawless excellence of the whole conduct of life' (NHG, 196). This alone, will reduce perfectionists' anxiety, make them feel superior to others, and give them a sense of controlling their own destiny" (Paris, pg, 197).

"The second response [to the idealized self] is to try desperately to measure up. Constantly trying, enduring and believing that one day we can 'get it right', we are perfectionists. We are always 'on our way' (Cooper, pg. 134).

Neurotic Needs

"[T]heir primary goal is gaining others' respect..." (Cooper, pg 116).

"As confirmation of his opinion of himself, he needs respect from others rather than glowing admiration (which he tends to scorn)" (Horney, 1950, pp. 196-97).

Of Horney's (1942, pp. 51, 55-56) "Neurotic Needs"

10. The neurotic need for perfection and unassailability:

Relentless driving for perfection;
Rumination and self-recriminations regarding possible flaws;
Feelings of superiority over others because of being perfect;
Dread of finding flaws within self or of making mistakes;
Dread of criticism or reproaches.

8. The neurotic ambition for personal achievement:

Need to surpass others not through what one presents or is but through one's activities;
Self-evaluation dependent on being the very best--lover, sportsman, writer, worker--particularly in one's own mind, recognition by others being vital too, however, and its absence resented;
Admixture of destructive tendencies (toward the defeat of others) never lacking but varying in intensity;
Relentless driving of self to greater achievements, though with pervasive anxiety;
Dread of failure ("humiliation").

1. The neurotic need for affection and approval:

Indiscriminate need to please others and to be liked and approved of by others;
Automatic living up to the expectations of others;
Center of gravity in others and not in self, with their wishes and opinions the only thing that counts;
Dread of self-assertion;
Dread of hostility on the part of others or of hostile feelings within self.

Idealized Image

Pride creates the idealized image.

The idealized self is an image of what we should be, must be or ought to be, in order to be acceptable (Cooper, pg. 130).

"In the expansive solutions the individual prevailingly identifies himself with his glorified self" (Horney, 1950, pg. 191).

"[P]erfectionists identify with their superior standards of behavior" (Cooper, pg. 116).

"Perfectionists regard themselves as models of rectitude, who achieve a flawless excellence in the whole conduct of life. They do a wonderful job at whatever they undertake, have perfect judgment, and are just and dutiful in their human relationships" (Paris, pg. 202).

Neurotic Pride

"While perfectionists condescendingly look down on others their arrogant contempt for others is often hidden" (Cooper, 116).

"Neurotic pride cannot endure anything less than perfection without extreme self-recrimination" (pg. 142).

"Expansive people tend to identify with their pride, whereas self-effacing people are afraid of it. This is one way of distinguishing self-effacing people from perfectionists, with whom they share many values. Both try to be good, dutiful and loyal; but perfectionists are proud of their virtue, whereas self-effacing people have a taboo against pride and must disclaim special merit" (Paris, pg. 210).

Neurotic Claims

"Horney indicates that the perfectionists' beliefs in their greatness are less naive than the narcissists, yet perfectionists, too, have an inflated expectation for complete justice. In other words, they are entitled to fair treatment in life because of their high standards. After all, they are fair, just, and dutiful, so how dare life not also contain an infallible justice! According to Horney, perfectionists hate all undeserved fortune, regardless of whether it is good or bad. This 'invalidates the whole accounting system'" (Cooper, pg. 116).

Perfectionist standards provide two important elements (a) being superior to others and (b) controlling life. (pg. 117).

"'Perfectionists demand "respect [from] others rather than glowing admiration" (NHG, 196) and a just reward for their rectitude'" (Cooper, pg. 141, quoting Paris, p. 208).

"As confirmation of his opinion of himself, he needs respect from others rather than glowing admiration (which he tends to scorn). Accordingly his claims are based less on a 'naive' belief in his greatness than (as we have described it in Chapter 2 on neurotic claims) on a 'deal' he had secretly made with life. Because he is fair, just, dutiful, he is entitled to fair treatment by others and by life in general. This conviction of an infallible justice operating in life gives him a feeling of mastery. His own perfection therefore is not only a means to superiority but also one to control life. The idea of undeserved fortune, whether good or bad, is alien to him. His own success, prosperity, or good health is therefore less something to be enjoyed than a proof of his virtue. Conversely, any misfortune befalling him—such as the loss of a child, an accident, the infidelity of his wife, the loss of a job—may bring this seemingly well-balanced person to the verge of collapse. He not only resents ill fortune as unfair but, over and beyond this, is shaken by it to the foundations of his psychic existence. It invalidates his whole accounting system and conjures up the ghastly prospect of helplessness" (Horney, 1950, pp. 196-97).

"Also, since he is as exacting on others as he is on himself, his influence on others is often cramping, especially if he is in an executive position" (pg. 315).

"The imposition of their standards on others leads perfectionists to admire a select few and to be critical or condescending toward the majority of humankind" (Paris, pg. 197).

"The bargain of the perfectionist is based on a legalistic conception of the world order: 'Because he is fair, just, dutiful, he is entitled to fair treatment by others and by life in general. This conviction of an infallible justice operating in life gives him a feeling of mastery'. Success is not a matter of luck or being the favorite of fortune, as it is for the narcissist, or of a superior shrewdness, talent, and ruthlessness, as it is for the arrogant-vindictive person; rather, it is a proof of virtue. Ill fortune could mean that the perfectionist was not really virtuous or that the world was unjust. Either conclusion shakes him 'to the foundations of his psychic existence', invalidating 'his whole accounting system' and conjuring up 'the ghastly prospect of helplessness'. If he recognizes 'an error or failure of his own making', self-effacing trends and self-hate may come to the fore (NHG, 197)" (Paris, pg. 198).

"Perfectionists demand 'respect from others rather than glowing admiration' (NHG, 196) and a just reward for their rectitude" (Paris, pg. 208).

Tyrannical Shoulds

"[P]erfectionists identify with their superior standards of behavior" (Cooper, pg. 116).

"The difficulties of the perfectionistic type are in some ways opposite [to the narcissistic type]. He works methodically and attends rather too meticulously to details. But he is so cramped by what he should do and how he should do it that there is no room left for originality and spontaneity. He is therefore slow and unproductive. Because of his exacting demands on himself he is easily overworked and exhausted (as is well known of the perfectionistic housewife) and lets others suffer as a result" (Horney, 1950, pg. 315).

"They were made to feel worthless or guilty when they did not live up to their parents' demands, but by conforming to expectations they put themselves beyond reproach and gained a feeling of superiority" (Paris, pg. 197).

"Whereas narcissists identify with their claims, perfectionists identify with their shoulds, which are very strong indeed. They make strenuous efforts to measure up to their shoulds 'by fulfilling duties and obligations, by polite and orderly manners, by not telling obvious lies'. Their 'arrogant contempt of others' is hidden behind 'polished friendliness' because their shoulds 'prohibit such "irregular feelings"' (NHG, 196). They think they 'should be able to control every anxiety, no matter how deep it is, should never be hurt, and should never make a mistake' (NW, 207). Their judgment must always be correct, and they must perform all roles and tasks to perfection. Horney became aware of the power shoulds wield in her examination of perfectionism in New Ways in Psychoanalysis, but she later came to see that they exercise a coercive force in every solution" (Paris, pg. 206).

"Perfectionists cannot be perfect and cannot control their anxieties" (pp. 206-207).

"Perfectionists identify with their shoulds and look down on others from their lofty height. They make strenuous efforts to fulfill the shoulds and deal with their failures by equating standards with performance or by various forms of externalization. Because of the stringency of their inner dictates, perfectionists are often in rebellion against them and experience 'listlessness and inertia' in the face of what they are 'supposed to do or feel'" (pp. 207-208).

Self-Hate

"The pride system tends to intensify the self-hate against which it is supposed to be a defense, since any failure to live up to one's tyrannical shoulds or of the world to honor one's claims leads to feelings of worthlessness" (Paris, IKHS).

"According to Horney, even perfectionsits often fail to recognize the manner in which they hold others in contempt because of shortcomings. Much of this is, of course, the projection of their own unconscious self-contempt" (Cooper, pg. 116).

"Neurotic pride cannot endure anything less than perfection without extreme self-recrimination" (pg. 142).

"[A]ny misfortune befalling him such as loss of a child, accident, the infidelity of his wife, the loss of a job—may bring this seemingly well-balanced person to the verge of collapse" (Horney, 1950, pg. 197).

"His other breaking points we mentioned when discussing the tyranny of the should: his recognition of an error or failure of his own making, and his finding himself caught between contradictory shoulds. Just as a misfortune pulls the ground away from under him, so does a realization of his own fallibility. Self-effacing trends and undiluted self-hate, kept in check successfully hitherto, then may come to the fore" (Horney, 1950, pg. 197).