|
|
| PTypes - Personality Types |
Neurotic Solution: Masochistic Type
The strategy of the Masochistic solution can be interpreted from the discussion by
John M.Oldham and Lois B. Morris of the Self-Sacrificing personality style.
Masochistic
Personality Disorder
Self-Sacrificing Personality
Type
Self-Effacing
Solution
Neurotic Needs
Compulsive Attachments
|
Compulsive Aversions
|
-
being needed
-
being helpful
-
being loved
-
being appreciated
-
pleasing others
-
acceptance
-
approval
-
serving others
-
giving to others
-
being a saint
-
being a good citizen
-
being peaceful
-
being secure
-
deference to others
-
being considerate
-
accepting others
-
being non-judgmental
-
being tolerant
-
philanthropy
-
charity
-
causes
-
serving the family
-
submissiveness
-
asceticism
-
hard work
-
drudgery
-
routine
-
competence
-
loyalty
-
respect for
authority
|
-
being unloved
-
preoccupation with one's own needs
-
competitiveness
-
ambition
-
reproving others
-
being boastful
-
appearing proud
-
being fussed over
-
being the center of attention
-
being in the limelight
-
taking full credit for what one does
-
being taken for granted
-
being taken advantage of
-
being under-recognized
-
receiving pleasure or assistance from
others
-
accepting love
-
self-assertion
-
setting limits
-
saying "no"
-
having fun with others
-
unfulfillable obligations to
others
-
relaxing
-
enjoying oneself
-
career advancement
-
success
-
asking for favors
-
entitlement
-
delegating work
-
insisting that
work be done
on time
|
Neurotic Solution
American Psychiatric Association (1987, pp. 373-74)
Self-defeating behavior. . . .The person may often avoid or undermine
pleasurable experiences, be drawn to situations or relationships in which he
or she will suffer, and prevent others from helping him or her.
-
chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or
mistreatment even when better options are clearly available;
-
rejects or renders ineffective the attempts of others to help him of
her;
-
following positive personal events (e.g., new achievement), responds
with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain ( e.g., an
accident);
-
incites angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels
hurt, defeated, or humiliated (e.g., makes fun of spouse in
public, provoking an angry retort, then feels devastated);
-
rejects opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to
acknowledge enjoying himself or herself (despite having adequate
social skills and the capacity for pleasure);
-
fails to accomplish tasks crucial to his or her personal
objectives despite demonstrated ability to do so, e.g., helps
fellow students write papers , but is unable to write his or
her own;
-
is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat
him or her well, e.g., is unattracted to caring sexual
partners;
-
engages in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by
the intended recipients of the sacrifice;
Neurotic Beliefs and Attitudes
Rationalizations and reinforcements of the compulsive attachments and aversions and the neurotic solution that they engender.
Derived from Oldham and Morris.
-
The purpose of life is to serve others (319).
-
My needs can always wait until others are well served (319).
-
To love is to give (319).
-
I must help others even if they haven't asked me to (319).
-
Being ambitious and competing with others is wrong (319).
-
I cannot tolerate being the center of attention (320).
-
I should always anticipate the desires of those I love (320).
-
I must do for and give to everyone I come in contact with
(321).
-
Laboring to make others' lives better is what gives
meaning to life (321).
-
I cannot tolerate success or pleasure (341).
-
The only way that I can gain inner tranquility is by
losing sight of myself in helpfulness to others (321).
-
It's better to avoid receiving rewards, getting
attention, and taking credit for good deeds (321).
-
I hate to appear prideful or pushy (322).
-
I work so hard to make others happy, but no one
seems to notice or care (322).
-
I feel guilty when receiving special attention
(322).
-
I don't want others to do things for me; it
makes me uncomfortable (323).
-
Only through giving to others will I be
accepted (324).
-
Parents should sacrifice everything for
their children (324).
-
I can relax and indulge myself only
when I am alone (325).
-
The world is a hard, tough place and
my mission is to make things better
for other people (326).
-
I will never be able to fulfill my
obligations to others (326).
-
I am unworthy and undeserving of
love, attention, and pleasure
(327).
-
I must always be respectful of
those in authority (327).
-
Advancing in my career is
not important to me (328).
-
I hate to ask for favors
(328).
-
I should avoid positions
where I would be
responsible for
overseeing other
people's work and
behavior (329).
Idealized Image
The particular "solution" is idealized (Horney,
1950, pg. 22)
John M.Oldham and Lois B. Morris (pp. 319-20):
To live is to serve; to love is to give. These
are axioms for individuals who have the Self-Sacrificing personality style.
The way they see it, their needs can wait until others' are well-served.
Knowing that they have given of themselves, they feel comfortable and at
peace, secure with their place in the scheme of things. At its best and most
noble, this is the selfless, magnanimous personality style of which saints
and good citizens are made.
-
Generosity. Individuals with the Self-Sacrificing
personality style will give you the shirts off their backs if you need
them. They do not wait to be asked.
-
Service. Their "prime directive" is to be helpful to
others. Out of deference to others, they are noncompetitive and
unambitious, comfortable coming second, even last.
-
Consideration. Self-Sacrificing people are always
considerate in their dealings with others. They are ethical, honest,
and trustworthy.
-
Acceptance. They are nonjudgmental, tolerant of
others' foibles, and never harshly reproving. They'll stick with you
through thick and thin.
-
Humility. They are neither boastful nor proud, and
they're uncomfortable being fussed over. Self-Sacrificing men and
women do not like being the center of attention; they are uneasy
in the limelight.
-
Endurance. They are long-suffering. They prefer to
shoulder their own burdens in life. They have much patience and
a high tolerance for discomfort.
-
Artlessness. Self-Sacrificing individuals are
rather naive and innocent. They are unaware of the often deep
impact they make on other people's lives, and they tend never
to suspect deviousness or underhanded motives in the people to
whom they give so much of themselves.
Attributes of the Idealized Image
-
Generosity
-
Service, helpfulness, deference, non-competitiveness,
non-ambitiousness
-
Considerateness, ethics, honesty, trustworthiness
-
Acceptance, nonjudgmental-ness, tolerance, never harshly
reproving, loyalty, faithfulness
-
Humility, modesty, self-effacement
-
Endurance, long-suffering, responsibility, patience,
stoicism
-
Artlessness, naivety, innocence, trustfulness
Neurotic Pride
Neurotic Claims
Neurotic Search for Glory
The neurotic search for glory is the comprehensive drive to actualize
the idealized self. Besides self-idealization it consists of the need for
perfection, neurotic ambition, and the drive for vindictive triumph. The
need for perfection functions in the personality as, what Horney
called, "tyrannical shoulds."
Tyrannical Shoulds
Self-Hate
References
American Psychiatric Association
(1994).
Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders:
DSM-IV . 4th ed. Washington: Author.
American Psychiatric Association
(2000). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR . 4th ed., text revision. Washington: Author.
Aaron T. Beck, Arthur M. Freeman and Associates (1990).
Cognitive
Therapy of Personality
Disorders .
New York: Guilford Press.
Terry D. Cooper (2003).
Sin,
Pride, and Self-Acceptance: The Problem of Identity in Theology
and Psychology. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Karen Horney (1950).
Neurosis
and Human Growth. New York: W. W. Norton.
John M.Oldham and Lois B. Morris (1995).
The New Personality Self-Portrait . Rev. ed. New York: Bantam.
|
|